Rejection is a painful experience. Whether it is romantic relationships, a deal gone south or you did not get the dream job or enrolled in the course or programme you wanted. That is the evolutionary process of life, Darwin (1868). Unfortunately, for most of us, no matter how much theory of positive psychology, Martin Seligman (2000), we read about we always have a natural tendency of taking it personally, especially if the thing we wanted most forms part of your basic need/desire, Abraham Maslow (1951).
I was recently hand-picked to be the external/corporate representative for AIESEC Denmark (www.AIESEC. org /denmark) Student Review Board today from 10h00 - 14h00 and six great profiles had been shortlisted out of a series of interviews to make a decision on when the students can go on an internship as a representative of AIESEC and Denmark to the respective places that AIESEC Denmark is in partnership with. At the end of the review, we approved 5 out of 6 candidates. If I was a one man island, it would have been 4 out of 6 but nonetheless, it was good to know that the entire process had not been left to US only to decide who gets to embark on the next chapter of their lives.
However, the 1 out of 6 candidate who did not manage to go through turned out to be the most academic qualified candidate out of the shortlisted finalists. They had a CV I wish I had in my 10 years of work experience! But it turns out that it did not come through effectively in the interview. Whilst it's good to be transparent and open about your experiences for some reason they seem to have missed the lesson of the motivational theory of Maslow (1951). It is important that at some point in our life we seek to discover the inner voice in us, what drives us, what motivates us, and our role as global citizens. Having the academic qualifications is one thing, but being the right person for the job/role is another thing. That is what I learnt, through my personal journal on my career development. It is unfortunate I learnt this lesson only in my third decade of my human existence. After numerous trials of believing that it is more important to be excellent at the job and minimizing the importance of social/human interactions is secondary! Newsflash! As the world becomes more global and diverse, it becomes more critical to adjust our lenses from an 'individual' culture perspective to a 'national' culture perspective, Hofstede (2001). This means, YES, hold on to your principles and beliefs but learn to accommodate the ones that enable you to move forward in your career! Some people may call this compromise, I call it periods of growth or crisis, much like in a business life-cycle, Greiner model (1961), but to which I am using it to refer to the individual context of personal growth.
So, how does one move forward if they find themselves STUCK much like this candidate, who felt they were entitled to the opportunity because of their stella qualifications, or more like the old version of me who felt that EXCELLENCE was the only criteria to get the job? Well, I identified three steps that have worked for me to this point:
I use this model for both my negative and positive responses from my experiences. I am a firm believer, in improving on what you already know how to do well in, however, if for example your emotional quotient (EQ), David Wechsler (1940) is the reason that is stepping between you and your goal, perhaps it would be a good idea to go through my suggested steps or whatever works for you to get you back on TRACK!
Dr. Jim Richards once said: "Sometimes we get the grace to move the mountain sometimes we get the grace to climb the mountain. Either way, God’s grace is sufficient." But after all that had been said and probably done :) my wise mother once added - "Sometimes we get the grace to go round the mountain." - Gloria R. Ndoro-Mkombachoto.
So go on - BE INSPIRED and go around the mountain!
I was recently hand-picked to be the external/corporate representative for AIESEC Denmark (www.AIESEC. org /denmark) Student Review Board today from 10h00 - 14h00 and six great profiles had been shortlisted out of a series of interviews to make a decision on when the students can go on an internship as a representative of AIESEC and Denmark to the respective places that AIESEC Denmark is in partnership with. At the end of the review, we approved 5 out of 6 candidates. If I was a one man island, it would have been 4 out of 6 but nonetheless, it was good to know that the entire process had not been left to US only to decide who gets to embark on the next chapter of their lives.
However, the 1 out of 6 candidate who did not manage to go through turned out to be the most academic qualified candidate out of the shortlisted finalists. They had a CV I wish I had in my 10 years of work experience! But it turns out that it did not come through effectively in the interview. Whilst it's good to be transparent and open about your experiences for some reason they seem to have missed the lesson of the motivational theory of Maslow (1951). It is important that at some point in our life we seek to discover the inner voice in us, what drives us, what motivates us, and our role as global citizens. Having the academic qualifications is one thing, but being the right person for the job/role is another thing. That is what I learnt, through my personal journal on my career development. It is unfortunate I learnt this lesson only in my third decade of my human existence. After numerous trials of believing that it is more important to be excellent at the job and minimizing the importance of social/human interactions is secondary! Newsflash! As the world becomes more global and diverse, it becomes more critical to adjust our lenses from an 'individual' culture perspective to a 'national' culture perspective, Hofstede (2001). This means, YES, hold on to your principles and beliefs but learn to accommodate the ones that enable you to move forward in your career! Some people may call this compromise, I call it periods of growth or crisis, much like in a business life-cycle, Greiner model (1961), but to which I am using it to refer to the individual context of personal growth.
So, how does one move forward if they find themselves STUCK much like this candidate, who felt they were entitled to the opportunity because of their stella qualifications, or more like the old version of me who felt that EXCELLENCE was the only criteria to get the job? Well, I identified three steps that have worked for me to this point:
- Allow yourself to go through the grieving cycle, Elisabeth Kübler-Ross (1969)
- Self-reflection or journaling your reflections/thoughts allows you to talk with yourself and identify perhaps how you may have contributed to the negative experience
- Identify an action plan. This allows you to look at where you are now, where you want to be and how to get there --> taking the actual first step.
I use this model for both my negative and positive responses from my experiences. I am a firm believer, in improving on what you already know how to do well in, however, if for example your emotional quotient (EQ), David Wechsler (1940) is the reason that is stepping between you and your goal, perhaps it would be a good idea to go through my suggested steps or whatever works for you to get you back on TRACK!
Dr. Jim Richards once said: "Sometimes we get the grace to move the mountain sometimes we get the grace to climb the mountain. Either way, God’s grace is sufficient." But after all that had been said and probably done :) my wise mother once added - "Sometimes we get the grace to go round the mountain." - Gloria R. Ndoro-Mkombachoto.
So go on - BE INSPIRED and go around the mountain!
Copyright @ Saturday February, 26 2011 on FB, (Reposted on BlogSpot February 26, 2011) by Tambudzai Ndoro– Non-Executive Director of Global Business Assignments Inc,
"As the world becomes more global and diverse, it becomes more critical to adjust our lenses from an 'individual' culture perspective to a 'national' culture perspective, Hofstede (2001)".... Tambu...thank God we are off the cycle of Caqpitalist individualism and finally realized that Ubuntu is what we need for survival of the human race....your friend Hofstede has not "discovered" anything new here..The people of the continents of Asia, Africa and Latin American have always know this...globalizatin has nothing to do with it!!!
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteYes, I know Hofstede has not discovered anything knew at all....
ReplyDeleteI agree with you on that point!
Tambu,
ReplyDeleteI really like what you wrote and I want to contribute to that as well.
I think that "excellence" is the right word. But it needs a new interpretation. In my opinion excellence is the state we never achieve but which always inspire us to search, reflect, improve and make our way through the circle you described. Excellence is the way...
Hi Milen,
ReplyDeleteI couldn't agree with you more! Infact, you are now taking me back the US Declaration of Independence - when it talks about the 'Pursuit of Happiness'...that is where the term originated from. With the same goal as you have aptly described.